You Should Like NJPW Vol. 2 - Bullet Club

You've heard of Bullet Club. You've seen the t-shirts. You know what the Too Sweet is. You know who Finn Balor, AJ Styles, Karl Anderson, Luke Gallows, Cody Rhodes, and probably The Young Bucks, Kenny Omega, and/or Adam Cole are. If your twitter timeline is any indication, Bullet Club is probably the coolest, hottest, most important act in New Japan Pro Wrestling! That's not exactly the case anymore. However, the Bullet Club seems like a good place to start, thanks to its name recognition among even the most casual wrestling fans on twitter. I think I'm going to try and separate the members of the Bullet Club in tiers, based on importance within the group and within the company, along with a brief breakdown of the character and history of each individual wrestler. Some will be longer than others, mostly because not everyone in Bullet Club is important. At all.

Bullet Club began in early 2013, when Finn Balor, then known as Prince Devitt formed a group of bad guys along with "Machine Gun" Karl Anderson, Bad Luck Fale, and Tama Tonga. Anderson and Balor left the group when they signed to WWE, as did later members AJ Styles and Luke Gallows. Nowadays, the Bullet Club is sporting eleven members, mostly separated into different sectors of Bullet Club. They are far from a cohesive unit, with only the logo and theme music holding them together as a faction. The really important sector is The Elite, consisting only of The Young Bucks and Kenny Omega. So to start, we'll go with the bottom of the food chain.

Tier 1 - Random Tag Matches

Chase Owens 

I often forget that he's a member of Bullet Club. He might pop up once in a while in one of the seven hundred thousand randomly thrown together undercard tag matches that you'll watch across a year of New Japan programming. He will probably get pinned in that match. He's not a bad wrestler, he's just kind of irrelevant at this time in the grand scheme of the stable and the company.

Yujiro Takahashi

He's the second best wrestler in NJPW with the last name Takahashi. His character is that he's a pimp, which makes for a very cool entrance. And then the bell rings. I personally find his matches bland, which is why he always finds himself buried in multi-man tag matches to open the show. He's fine at his limited role, but it's hard to see him elevating past where he is now.

Hangman Page

He's slightly higher up in the rankings than Takahashi and Owens, but still hasn't found himself featured in many significant singles matches in NJPW to this point. He frequently works with Ring of Honor, where he gets more of a featured role. He'll find himself teaming with Cody in New Japan from time to time, indicating that he's slightly higher on the food chain and not quite bottom of the barrel. I could see him getting a bit more shine in the months to come.

Tier 2 - Pretty Important

Bad Luck Fale 

He's one of four original members and a human mountain. He's a Tongan ex-rugby player that mostly just wrestles in tag matches and throws people around. However, he recently made it to the finals of the annual New Japan Cup, albeit in a losing effort to Katsuyori Shibata. Fale is relevant when New Japan decides he's relevant. Otherwise, he's an intimidating guy that beats up on lowercard wrestlers. You've probably seen pictures of Finn Balor riding on his shoulders. Also, his nickname is THE UNDERBOSS. I felt like mentioning that because it rules.

Guerrillas of Destiny 

Former IWGP Tag Team Champions, Tama Tonga and Tanga Roa, formerly known as Camacho in WWE. Tama Tonga is the Tongan guy with the beard and cool facepaint that you've seen on your timeline. Since Roa found his way to New Japan, G.O.D have been consistently in the tag team title scene, but the heavyweight tag division in New Japan as a whole is weak at the moment, and therefore they find themselves in this part of the list. They're fine as a tag team. Their matches feature a lot of very audible swearing. Tama Tonga looks awesome. That's pretty much all I can say about Guerrillas of Destiny, to be honest. There's not a whole lot there.

Adam Cole

Former multi-time Ring of Honor World Champion, frequent PWG wrestler, and someone who has been rumored to be on his way to NXT on multiple occasions. There's a very good chance you've seen at least something that Adam Cole has done in a wrestling ring. Currently, he mostly works uppercard tag matches with The Young Bucks and/or Kenny Omega. He's a good enough wrestler to be where he is, and his matches become more entertaining through the personality that he shows with his actions and dialogue in the ring. It's really, really fun to chant ADAM COLE BAYBAY along with him.

Cody 

The artist formerly known as Cody Rhodes, also formerly known as Stardust. Since Cody left WWE he's been a polarizing figure, but it's clear that NJPW sees something in him, as he's found himself in important spots since he stepped foot in the company. He's a very strange and somewhat random fit in Bullet Club, but he's there nonetheless, and he works a style that is slowly adapting itself to what people look for in a typical NJPW match. Expect Cody to pick up some steam throughout the rest of the year. 

Tier 3 - Big Deals

The Young Bucks 

You know who they are. You're familiar with the Superkick Party, and you've heard about how great they are from almost everybody that has ever watched an indie show. Matt Jackson and Nick Jackson, who are, contrary to popular belief, not twins, make up the former IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Champions. Their act is more popular elsewhere in the world than it is in New Japan, but you'll see them pop up in so many different parts of a typical New Japan show that it's hard not to elevate them above the second tier of Bullet Club. They're in Japan less than some of the other members of Bullet Club, but they always find themselves in a semi-important role, and are the centerpieces of the Junior Heavyweight Tag Division.

Tier 4 - The Leader

Kenny Omega 

I'm not even sure if I have to really explain this. "The Cleaner" Kenny Omega is not only the leader of Bullet Club, but one of the main faces of New Japan as it expands globally, especially in North America. Kenny is coming off a losing effort in the main event of Wrestle Kingdom 11 against IWGP Heavyweight Champion Kazuchika Okada, in what was dubbed by many to be the greatest wrestling match of all time. I'm not here to debate that. Omega is a tremendous performer, easily one of the best in the world. His matches are great, he looks amazing, he has the best finisher, and he's incredibly weird. Which is awesome. If you do decide to dive into the world of New Japan, be prepared for a heavy dose of Kenny Omega, and for good reason.

You Should Like NJPW Vol. 1 - The Promotion

If you're on twitter as a wrestling fan in 2017, you have heard of New Japan Pro Wrestling. Somebody on your timeline is talking about NJPW, or Kenny Omega, or the Bullet Club. NJPW is reaching its height of popularity in North America, and will be holding shows in America in just a few months from now. It's important for the company's success in America to continue to build, and the easiest way for that to happen is for American wrestling fans to dive in to the uncontested number two wrestling promotion on the planet. I'd like to try and explain the New Japan product, a bit of its history, the major players on its roster, and the personalities surrounding the characters. The thing is, I'm not exactly a NJPW expert. I didn't watch any Japanese wrestling until 2014. I've been an inconsistent viewer. However, I think that makes me the perfect person to try and introduce NJPW to potential new fans of the product. So, hopefully this goes well. And if I blow it, and leave any holes in the story, please feel free to tweet me @JakesBadTweets and scream at me. Anyway, here we go.

 First things first: watching and enjoying New Japan doesn't make you a better fan. It also doesn't make you worse. It's another wrestling product in the world, and one that many people happen to enjoy for good reasons. And the more popular wrestling promotions there are, the better for wrestling as a whole.

I.

I guess we'll begin with some of their tropes, traditions and titles, starting with a term that most wrestling fans should be familiar with by now through Shinsuke Nakamura, that being strong style. Strong style is sort of a staple of Japanese wrestling. It refers to a more snug, hard-hitting style of pro wrestling that is often employed in Japan and is slowly appearing in more and more promotions across the world. It's employed especially in matches for the NEVER Openweight Championship, but that's something that we'll get into a bit later. It's a major component of the overall flavor of the wrestling in the promotion, and something that's worth familiarizing yourself with as you dive all the way into the product. 

II.

Next up, the distribution and production of the shows. A majority of their shows these days do in fact have English commentary, often provided by Ring of Honor's Kevin Kelly, accompanied usually by Don Callis. They are okay at it, but the fact that the English commentary exists at all is an improvement over years past. The English commentary will appear on almost all of their major shows, which can all be found on njpwworld.com which is essentially their WWE Network. Shows are typically around the same length as WWE PPVs, even slightly shorter on most occasions. However, something they have over WWE that I see as a benefit is their lack of a weekly television program. Although they do have a show on AXS TV, it's simply a replay of previous NJPW matches and doesn't advance current storylines. However, this lack of programming when compared to most American promotions keeps matchups fresh and helps build anticipation for their important events. Their calendar is structured with one major show every month or two, with some of their major events lasting more than one night, such as New Japan Cup or the G1 Climax, tournaments that last days or even weeks in the case of the G1. 

III.

New Japan maintains a working relationship with Ring of Honor, exchanging employees back and forth, including both in-ring talents and on-air personalities. ROH and NJPW hold dual-branded shows every year, with War of the Worlds and Global Wars in America and NJPW holding Honor Rising in Japan. Ring of Honor talent tends to be featured heavily in New Japan, although mostly as filler feuds rather than legitimate main event spots.

IV.

 New Japan is separated by weight divisions, between regular heavyweights and junior heavyweights. The promotion's titles are also separated as such, with seven major championships featured heavily on their shows.

NEVER Openweight 6-Man Tag Team Championships: NEVER is an acronym that's somewhat lost in translation, but the gist of it is that these belts can be won by any combination of three wrestlers, heavyweight or junior heavyweight. NJPW undercards have almost always been chalked full of multi-man tag matches, so these belts, introduced in late 2015, served simply as something to be defended to make those often randomly thrown together tag matches feel a little more important. However, they tend to just be thrown around on a whim, and are far from the most prestigious championships in the world. 

IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Championships: These belts are exactly what the name implies. The International Wrestling Grand Prix is the governing body over NJPW, thus these titles, that can be won and defended by teams of two junior heavyweights. For the most part, gaijin, or non-Japanese tag teams will be competing for these titles. Teams you may recognize, such as The Young Bucks or Trent Barretta and Rocky Romero, Roppongi Vice. 

IWGP Tag Team Championship: The same concept as the Junior Heavyweight Tag Titles, just without the junior part. Teams of two heavyweights are eligible to compete for these belts. This division often contains much more homegrown NJPW talent than does the Junior Tag Team division.

NEVER Openweight Championship: Matches for the NEVER Openweight Title tend to be when Strong Style shines through the brightest. The belt is often used as a way for an up-and-coming superstar to prove his worth in the ring with more chiseled veterans, or simply a way for a couple of more seasoned wrestlers to smack each other around. It's more of a stepping stone than a main attraction, but it's not a waste of time. Plenty of worthwhile wrestlers that you'll be introduced to later have had their hands on the belt in very recent memory.

IWGP Junior Heavyweight Championship: NJPW's version of the cruiserweight division. Fast paced matches, insane spots, ridiculous displays of athleticism are all mainstays in the Junior Heavyweight matches in NJPW, a division that is absolutely thriving currently. Some names that American fans may recognize in NJPW's Junior Heavyweight division include Ricochet and Will Ospreay.

IWGP Intercontinental Championship: The belt serves sort of the same purpose as WWE's version of the Intercontinental Title, even on a higher level, actually. Former world champions often hold the IC Title in NJPW, or guys that are on the fast track to the title. It's less like a midcard title and more like a second main event belt, with previous champions including Kenny Omega and Shinsuke Nakamura.

IWGP Heavyweight Championship: The top title. Their world championship. Treated as a big deal, handled as a big deal, and respected as such. It's not a title that changes hands often, so when it does, it means a lot. The most notable former champion in recent memory is, of course, AJ Styles. 

V.

Now that a little bit of the background to the current landscape has been laid out, the following posts will be running through individual roster members, their history, and where they stand in the promotion today. Hopefully something about this post piqued your interest enough to continue reading the ones that are coming in the future, and moreso, hopefully you begin to watch future New Japan events on njpwworld.com.

 

Top 5 Matches: January 2017

The good part of everybody having me muted on twitter is that nobody will read this. Since I started actually keeping track of all the good wrestling matches I plan on watching from this year, I figured I might as well start pumping one of these posts out each month. The goal is for me to get yelled at on the internet. Without further ado, let's RANK SOME WRASSLIN.

5

Tyler Bate vs Pete Dunne

 WWE U.K. Championship Tournament - Day 2

While I found much of the U.K. Championship Tournament underwhelming, there's no doubt that Dunne and Bate were the tournament's standout performers. The story that had been developed through the first day and a half of the tournament culminated perfectly, as the most evil bastard in the U.K. met the young, energetic, endlessly likeable babyface for the opportunity to become the first WWE U.K. Champion. The story and stakes are set, all that remained was the actual wrestling, and it delivered and then some. Bate sold the shoulder injury very well for almost the entirety of the match, and Dunne was as aggressive and evil as the story called for. It was the perfect storm and a perfect introduction for the characters of two performers that will undoubtedly see a lot of time on the eventual weekly WWE U.K. show.

 

Where to find it: wwe.com/wwenetwork

4

Matt Riddle vs Katsuyori Shibata

Revolution Pro Wrestling High Stakes - 1/21/17

Personally, this is as close to a dream match as there could be when it comes to currently active wrestlers that aren't contracted to WWE. RevPro has been known to grant the wishes of fans, previously playing host to Kurt Angle vs Zack Sabre Jr. and Chris Hero vs Shibata, among others. However, despite my borderline unhealthy fandom of Chris Hero, I don't think either of those matches could measure up to Shibata defending the British Heavyweight Championship against The King of Bros. For the many of you that have heard a lot about Matt Riddle but have never seen him wrestle, this match is a great example of what exactly he brings to the table. Disturbingly hard strikes, tremendous pacing, and an unreal ability to suck a crowd into a match with his mere presence. It's hard to believe Riddle is still essentially a rookie in pro wrestling. That's not to say Riddle gets all the credit for this masterpiece, though, as Shibata more than held up his end of the bargain, as is to be expected. Enough words about it, just go watch it for yourself. 

Where to find it: revolutionprowrestling.com/on-demand

3

Hiromu Takahashi vs KUSHIDA

Wrestle Kingdom 11

Believe it or not, of the two Wrestle Kingdom 11 matches to be included on this list, I went back and forth on which one I liked better. (I'm sure you know what the other one is going to be.) While it was sloppy at times, it was the kind of endearing sloppiness that Takahashi matches are almost always going to have, the kind of sloppiness that brought realism to the match rather than making moves look bad or legitimately injuring either wrestler. The pacing, the overall length of the match, the spots and the false finishes were incredible, and it was a great start to what I'm assuming is going to be a spectacular year for Takahashi on top of NJPW's Junior Division, while KUSHIDA can move on to continue having incredible matches with everyone he steps in the ring with. It's hard to think of a more consistent performer in the world than KUSHIDA.

Where to find it: njpwworld.com

2

Kenny Omega vs Kazuchika Okada

Wrestle Kingdom 11

I can't imagine there's anybody reading this that hasn't seen this match and I can't imagine there's anything I can say about it that hasn't already been said a billion times. Therefore, I'll just say it was an incredible match and leave it at that. 

Where to find it: njpwworld.com

 1

John Cena vs AJ Styles

Royal Rumble

I pretty much have only positives to say about this match, but yet again this is one that's been raved about so extensively just in the past two days that there's nothing I can say that hasn't already been written on a million blogs better, worse, and as shitty as mine is. It was a pro wrestling masterpiece. An absolute banger of a third match in their fantastic trilogy, in a series of matches that hopefully isn't over yet. If there's anything at all I can say negative about the match, it's that it was a lot like the other two singles matches between them. However, it's a winning formula that they continue to tinker with and expand upon every time they step into the ring. Unbelievable stuff.

Where to find it: wwe.com/wwenetwork

 

WWE Roadblock 2000

WWE Roadblock 2000

 

Inspired by something I saw on twitter this past week, I'm going to be exploring what it would look like if an extra Network Special had been thrown into previous roads to WrestleMania. Thanks to a suggestion, I will be starting with the road to WrestleMania 2000. Since I can't change any of the details of the storylines or what happened on the actual WrestleManias in these years, this one was tough to book, being that WM2000 was such an absolute mess. But, alas, I was able to put a card together, which I will run through and explain, results included.

 

Opening Match

Eddie Guerrero w/ The Radicalz vs Chyna w/ Too Cool

This is simply an adjusted version of the six-person intergender tag match that is to take place at WrestleMania 16, but with all the fat trimmed and the two most integral parts of the storyline isolated. With the help of a distraction from Saturn and Malenko on the outside, Eddie rolls up Chyna for the win in order to keep the train moving towards Mania.

 

 

Triple Threat Match

Jeff Hardy w/ Matt Hardy vs Edge w/ Christian vs Bubba Ray Dudley w/ D-Von Dudley

This is a pretty cheap way of delaying a three-way tag team match until the memorable triangle ladder match, but it would be perfectly fine in terms of match quality and storyline advancement. Jeff Hardy picks up the win as the Hardyz are the most over team in the match and Edge and Christian are going to get the titles at Mania.

 

 

Tag Team Match

T & A w/ Trish Stratus vs APA

T & A ended up in a nothing tag match at Mania against Head Cheese while the APA were a focal point in the Hardcore Invitational, so it seems pretty inconsequential to throw them in this match together. It would be short, quick, and stiff, which is all you can really ask of a random lowercard tag match. Test and Albert win with interference from Trish as they're the only ones moving on to a tag match on the next show.

 

 

Hardcore Championship Match

Crash Holly (c) vs Tazz

Crash wins with inadvertent help from his cousin Hardcore Holly, who runs out to attack Crash and capitalize on the 24/7 rule, but accidentally takes out Tazz instead. Crash runs away, chased down by Hardcore. This helps advance towards the Hardcore Invitational.

 

 

Handicap Match

Kane w/ Paul Bearer vs Road Dogg and X-Pac w/ Tori

In order to get to the part of the storyline where Kane picks Rikishi as his tag team partner, Kane loses this handicap match as the numbers game is just too much for him. This match hopefully makes at least a little sense out of a WrestleMania match that really makes no sense whatsoever.

 

 

Special Guest Referee - Kurt Angle

Chris Benoit vs Chris Jericho

Jericho and Benoit both snap on Kurt's annoying refereeing and get simultaneously disqualified after they attack him, eventually leading to Angle being trapped in both the Walls of Jericho and the Crippler Crossface. Simple match to keep the story rolling.

 

 

Tag Team Match

Triple H & Big Show w/ Shane McMahon & Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley

vs

The Rock 'N Sock Connection w/ Vince McMahon & Linda McMahon

It's kinda cheating to take the WrestleMania main event and turn it into a tag match, but here we are. Rock 'N Sock go over by pinning Big Show, Vince and Linda stand triumphant over their kids, and Rock stares down Triple H. Foley and Big Show are just kinda there, much like in real life. 

Fast Lane Review

Yet another terrible show and it's NOT only because Reigns won and ruined my whole night. Based off this pre-Mania PPV that only advanced storylines which is UNHEARD OF in professional wrestling, I will be joining the #BoycottMania movement and cancelling my WWE Network... unless RAW is good on the road to WrestleMania. Or maybe even if it's bad. I'll just skip the main event of Mania. Or watch it and hate it regardless of what happens. We'll see.

Pre-Show United States Championship 2 out of 3 Falls Match

Kalisto (c) vs Alberto Del Rio

The actual match was good, but I'm just PISSED that it was on the pre-show instead of the main PPV! Why would they use the slot they have carved out to squeeze an extra match onto a PPV to squeeze an extra match onto a PPV?!?! It's a slap in the face to two great performers and the US Title to perform in front of a full capacity crowd in what is essentially the opening match and get them fired up for the rest of the show. 2 stars.

Sasha Banks and Becky Lynch vs Tamina and Naomi

Good match, but they're watering down two amazing NXT divas like Sasha and Becky by putting them against untalented ugly main roster girls like Tamina and Naomi. 1 star.

Intercontinental Championship Match

Kevin Owens (c) vs Dolph Ziggler

I love both these guys and this was possibly the best match on the whole show. It combined my love of a billion superkicks with my enjoyment of Dolph Ziggler for no apparent reason to create a great match even though the IC Title is meaningless now and has been forever blah blah blah. 3 and a half stars.

The Wyatt Family w/ Bray Wyatt vs Kane, Ryback, & Big Show

What an unbearable match between a bunch of guys who can't wrestle and Luke Harper. Plus stupid Rybotch injured Luke Harper. Get him a Z-Pack! LMAO! Anyway, I didn't even watch this garbage. And why did the Wyatts lose???? 0 stars.

Divas Championship Match

Charlotte (c) w/ Ric Flair vs Brie Bella

I don't understand why Charlotte keeps winning when I don't want to see her win at all, and no, I'm not getting worked by her being a good heel. At all. Plus, Brie's dreadful wrestling and blatant piggybacking off Daniel Bryan's career which is the only reason she married him and not because they are two people who are in love. This was a disgrace on Bryan's career because Brie screwed up like two spots, despite the fact the crowd was into it throughout and especially for the submission at the end. Half star.

Rubber Match

AJ Styles vs Chris Jericho

I love both wrestlers and the wrestling was great, but WHY DID CHRIS JERICHO KICK OUT OF THE STYLES CLASH I'M SO ANGRY I DON'T EVEN CARE THAT HE TAPPED OUT TO THE CALF CRUSHER IMMEDIATELY AFTERWARDS GAH FUCK THIS COMPANY STYLES IS BURIED ALREADY. 1 star.

Curtis Axel w/ Social Outcasts vs R-Truth

How is this on the PPV and not the pre-show, am I right? I hate fun. Fun stuff is the worst. I hate that I wasted 4 whole minutes of my life watching this segment. 0 stars.

Triple Threat for WWE WHC Shot at WrestleMania

Brock Lesnar vs Dean Ambrose vs Roman Reigns

EVERYTHING GOOD ABOUT THIS MATCH GOES OUT THE WINDOW BECAUSE ROMAN REIGNS WON. NEGATIVE 7 STARS. #BOYCOTTMANIA #CANCELWWENETWORK

Overall: 3/10 Stars

Way Too Early WrestleMania Predictions

Despite how often I say I want to stay away from fantasy booking, I find myself doing it quite often. You could consider this a form of fantasy booking, although it's not a fantasy as much as it's what I believe is going to take place at WrestleMania 32 in Dallas. 

WrestleMania 32 

 Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Braun Strowman def. Stardust, Tyler Breeze, Konnor, Viktor, Big Show, Kane, Ryback, The Miz, Damien Sandow, Curtis Axel, Bo Dallas, Adam Rose, Heath Slater, Sheamus, Alberto Del Rio, Rusev, Dolph Ziggler etc.

 -In a pre-show match, Strowman goes over by being really big and choking dudes out and nonchalantly dumping their lifeless bodies out of the ring. Yay. Push is imminent as long as he doesn't totally suck in the ring, which so far he doesn't.

Divas Championship Match

Sasha Banks def. Charlotte (c) w/ Ric Flair & Becky Lynch

-This seems to be where they're taking this feud, and by virtue of being the most over between her and Becky, I believe Sasha will get the nod and the title.

Tables Match

The Usos def. The Dudley Boyz

-Breaking the tradition of the annual "Cram Everyone Onto Mania Four Corners Tag Team Title Match", the newly heel Dudleys do the job for The Usos in a tables match. The Dudleys swearing off tables with their heel turn seems destined for them to encounter tables once again at some point down the road, and with fans beginning to be turned off The Usos, the Dudleys could be the team that gets them back in the good graces with the crowd, especially if the titles aren't involved.

United States Championship Match

Kalisto (c) def. Chris Jericho

-I struggled to think of what Jericho might do at Mania with what seems to be a heel turn impending from his current program with AJ Styles, that may result in a match at Fast Lane, which you'd have to believe Styles would win. Jericho seems too important of a roster piece to just be Andre Battle Royal fodder, and he can't be in a more important match on the card than AJ if he loses at Fast Lane, so I think heel Jericho would be a perfect tool to further Kalisto's push and his reign as US Champion.

Bray Wyatt w/ The Wyatt Family def. Brock Lesnar w/ Paul Heyman

-It doesn't really matter who wins this match, honestly. But Lesnar's a horrifying monster no matter what he does at this point, so losing to Bray wouldn't be such a terrible thing for the Beast, especially when Bray really lacks a huge win to this point in his career. Maybe Heyman even plays into the finish here, as The Wyatt Family messing with him on the outside leads to a distraction that does Lesnar in. Maybe.

WWE Tag Team Championship Match

Enzo Amore & Colin Cassady w/ Carmella def. The New Day (c) w/ Xavier Woods

-If Enzo & Cass don't show up on The Cutting Edge Peep Show at Fast Lane, I'd be more shocked than if they do show up. Happening, see: it's. 

Intercontinental Championship Match

AJ Styles def. Kevin Owens (c)

-Yes I know there have been a lot of title changes on this show but it's WrestleMania and AJ STYLES WILL BECOME INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION AND THAT'S A BIG DEAL BECAUSE THE IC TITLE IS A BIG DEAL AGAIN AND THAT MAKES ME HAPPY. THEY DON'T WANT NONE.

Roman Reigns def. The Undertaker

-Let it marinate.

WWE World Heavyweight Championship Match

Dean Ambrose def. Triple H (c) w/ Stephanie McMahon

-I would be dreading this if the current program with Lesnar and Reigns hadn't turned me into an actual Ambrose fan. They've finally cut the wackiness and had him be an actual crazy person who thinks fighting Brock Lesnar is an okay thing to try. Good. When he wins at Fast Lane with the help of the Wyatt Family, the crowd will go crazy, and when he wins at WrestleMania and becomes World Champion, they'll go even crazier. And then the night after WrestleMania when Roman Reigns gets mad that Ambrose stole his spot and both he and Rollins have upstaged him at Mania 31 & 32... you know what, never mind that last bit. *Eyes emoji*

 

Let's Try This Again: WrestleMania 20

As fond as people seem to be of 2004 in the WWE and especially WrestleMania 20, there were plenty of flaws to be picked at. The midcard and undercard lacked depth and was poorly booked with the talent that was there, the main event scene seemed to go in circles a bit, and they struggled a bit to push newer guys to the top. And for as much praise as WrestleMania 20 has received in the past, I feel that quite a bit of that comes from the two fantastic main events, and not much thought is put into the weakness of the lower card. For a five hour event, this is almost unbearable to sit through in its entirety, which tends to be the case with any five hour wrestling show or any five hour show in general. What I hope to do with this post is simply put out some ideas to think about, obviously just a "what if" scenario, like I did back in January for WrestleMania 18. I'd like to hear feedback on whether or not my version sounds better than the version that actually happened, as well as whether or not I should potentially continue booking my revisionist version of the 2004 PPVs, if that's something people might be interested in. Just let me know on twitter @SaveUsY2Jake or leave a comment on this post. Anyway, here we go with the new and (hopefully improved) version of WrestleMania 20.

Opening Match

The Rock 'N Sock Connection def. Ric Flair and Batista 

Obviously this is just a change of a handicap match to a tag team match by removing only one person, but it is probably the person who was most vital to this storyline in real life. So, in order to make up for other changes later in the card, I had to remove Randy Orton from this match. Orton had been targeting Mick Foley for weeks as part of his Legend Killer gimmick. But when The Rock returned to even up the odds, Orton bowed out from this match. So, by virtue of being a huge kiss up to Eric Bischoff, he is removed from the match, with the reasoning being that Foley "hasn't earned an opportunity to get his hands on Orton yet". The Rock 'N Sock Connection wins as Foley pins Flair, leading to Foley finally getting his hands on Orton the following month at Backlash.

Womens Championship Match

Victoria (c) def. Trish Stratus w/ Chris Jericho

While the Hair vs Title match that happened in real life between Victoria and Molly Holly was fine, I'd like to use this match as a storyline building opportunity for, let's face it, a more important match that's occurring later in the night. Midway through the match, Jericho is attacked by an invading Christian. Their brawl distracts Trish, who is left vulnerable to be hit by the Widow's Peak and pinned. Victoria retains as Jericho and Christian are separated at ringside. 

Cruiserweight Championship Match

Chavo Guerrero Jr. (c) w/ Chavo Classic def. Rey Mysterio, Ultimo Dragon & Billy Kidman

Although the talent pool as far as the Cruiserweight division was concerned was possibly as deep as it had ever been within the WWE at this point, I would try and narrow it down to who I felt were the four most popular of the bunch. I appreciate what WWE tried to do in fitting anybody and everybody onto the WrestleMania 20 card, but I wouldn't do it at the risk of actual show quality, and this match would be better I think than the complete clusterfuck of a Cruiserweight Open that happened in real life. Chavo wins with help from Chavo Classic and leaves with his Cruiserweight Title intact.

World Tag Team Championship Tables Match

Booker T and Rob Van Dam (c) def. The Dudley Boyz

In yet another title match where the titles don't change hands, RVD and Booker T defeat The Dudleys. As I said earlier, I appreciate what WWE was going for by just cramming people into the card, but I'd much prefer a straight tag team match here, as I was never a huge La Resistance fan and Jindrak and Cade were useless. In front of a MSG crowd that would be crazy hot for this match, the champions retain with a Five-Star Frog Splash through the table.

Stone Cold Steve Austin def. Brock Lesnar

Bear with me here. I am booking with the benefit of hindsight. And the benefit of hindsight tells me that Goldberg vs Lesnar, no matter how logical it would have been at this point in their storyline, CAN NOT HAPPEN. So, as a bit of an ad-lib, this is its replacement. Bischoff, as punishment to Austin, tells Lesnar, who doesn't want to face Goldberg because he's unsure if he'll win (but doesn't say that, it's just implied) that he can face Stone Cold instead since he's the one that sent Goldberg to No Way Out to cost Lesnar the WWE Championship in the first place. Here's the catch with this match: Stone Cold Steve Austin was not in good enough physical shape to have an actual wrestling match. So here's what happens: Austin comes to the ring in his wrestling gear, over as hell. Lesnar comes out and is booed out of the building. Brock and Austin have a staredown, Lesnar is clearly rattled by the fans. Austin flips him off. Lesnar, in a fit of rage, swings at Austin (Sheriff Austin is still not allowed to attack a superstar unless physically provoked to do so, remember) Austin ducks the strike, catches Lesnar with a Stunner. Brock is quick to get back up, and gets Stunnered again. He works his way back to his feet, and eats a third Stunner to a thunderous pop. Austin covers him for three and drowns himself in beer as MSG goes nuts, sending Lesnar off in shame.

United States Championship Match

John Cena def. The Big Show (c)

In what was the opening match of the real show, nothing really changes here except for its placement on the card. It could very easily still be the opener as well. This match did its job wonderfully as far as getting Cena over is concerned, and it was just a good match overall. I mostly moved this match from the opening spot so as to spread out the Evolution matches on the card.

Christian def. Chris Jericho w/ Trish Stratus

In another match that really doesn't change whatsoever, Christian defeats Jericho with help from Trish. The only thing that changes here is Trish has more motivation for her turn, as she pins the blame on Jericho for costing her the Womens Championship earlier in the night.

WWE Tag Team Championship Match

Too Cool (c) def. World's Greatest Tag Team

At first, I had planned on leaving the WWE Tag Team Titles off the card entirely. But, on a five hour show, there's really no point in leaving any of the belts off the card without a good reason to. So in another short match, Too Cool retains. WGTT beats up on Scotty until Scotty is able to hit The Worm and pop the crowd, hot tag to Rikishi, a few thrust kicks and one Rikishi Driver to Charlie Haas later, Rikishi and Scotty retain the titles as Shelton was soon to be drafted to RAW and thus WGTT was soon to be disbanded, as much as I'd like to put the titles on them here.

Intercontinental Championship Match

Randy Orton (c) def. Goldberg

In a continuation from the earlier Austin/Lesnar situation, when Bischoff forces Austin into a match with Lesnar, Sheriff Austin says that he should then be allowed to put Bischoff into a match of his choosing. Bischoff obviously refutes this, but Vince McMahon intervenes and agrees with Austin's assessment of the situation. He chooses to put Bischoff into a match with Goldberg on RAW. Before the match, though, Austin announces that it is a number one contender's match for the Intercontinental Championship, as he's pissed at Orton for backing out of the match with Rock 'N Sock Connection. Goldberg is about to win the match when Orton runs in and decimates him with a chair. Orton thinks he's dodged a bullet in this situation, but realizes his mistake when Goldberg is announced to have won the match by disqualification. Orton runs scared from Goldberg for weeks to come until he manages to retain his title over Goldberg, who could be considered a "legend" at this point in 2004 to continue on with Orton's Legend Killer gimmick. Orton wins with help from Flair and Batista, and Goldberg is out of the company for good. I do think that the "smart" MSG crowd would flip a little and cheer for Orton in this one, but that's a risk I'm willing to take for the sake of getting Lesnar vs Goldberg the fuck off the card.

World Heavyweight Championship No Holds Barred Match

Triple H (c) def. Shawn Michaels

Now here's where my card may get controversial. Chris Benoit is not in this match, despite the fact that he won the Royal Rumble, and that will be explained in a bit. But what's important for this match is that HBK and HHH had been engaged in a blood feud for the better part of two years at this point, without a real payoff. Instead of delaying that payoff to a non-title HIAC at Bad Blood three months later, this match is that payoff. At Royal Rumble, these two fought to a no contest in a Last Man Standing match. This match is booked to ensure that an end is put to this feud, as it's less of a no holds barred match in the sense that it'll be riddled with weapons and more of a no holds barred match in the sense that somebody has to win by pinfall or submission. Triple H pulls out the victory with the use of his sledgehammer, and HBK receives a standing ovation as he exits the arena after yet another amazing WrestleMania performance.

Streak Match

The Undertaker w/ Paul Bearer def. Kane

I would've preferred to put Undertaker in a different match, but with the inherited storyline heading into Mania 20, there's really not much I could have done to change this match. Everything stays the same, in a match that isn't a popcorn match but it is definitely slower paced and a bit of a break for the crowd before we get to the main event.

WWE Championship Match

Chris Benoit def. Eddie Guerrero (c) and Kurt Angle

So let me break ALL of this down. The night after No Way Out, with both World Champions set heading into WrestleMania, Chris Benoit is allowed to make his decision on which World Title to challenge for. It seems like a no-brainer he'll choose Triple H, which he intends to do in his in-ring promo. Until Shawn Michaels comes out, that is. HBK pleads his case to Benoit, imploring The Rabid Wolverine to allow The Showstopper to challenge for the title at WrestleMania, as he claims that the match at Royal Rumble was unfinished business between him and Triple H that needed to be settled one-on-one. He tries to convince Benoit by pointing out that he could headline WrestleMania with his best friend in Eddie Guerrero since Eddie had won the WWE Title at No Way Out. Benoit says he'll sit on it for a week and answer the following Monday on RAW. Eddie comes out on SmackDown and also makes a case for Benoit to challenge him for the WWE Title. Benoit comes out on RAW and officially challenges Eddie Guerrero for WrestleMania. This enrages Kurt Angle, who defeated John Cena at No Way Out to earn a WrestleMania WWE Title shot. Angle takes out his anger with repeated sneak attacks on Eddie Guerrero while Benoit continues to compete on RAW. On the go-home episode of SmackDown, Benoit finally appears, engaging in a stare down with Angle and Eddie that results in Angle being trapped in the Crippler Crossface and hit with the Frog Splash, leading in a stare down between Benoit and Eddie, each of them holding on to one end of the WWE Championship. That brings us to this match, which would be absolutely incredible. Benoit wins the title for the first time, which does make Eddie's reign incredibly short, but he hadn't been handling the pressure of being champion very well in real life anyway. The post-match moment between Benoit and Eddie happens regardless to end the show.

So there it is, revisionist WrestleMania 20. Once again, let me know what you thought of this compared to the actual events of WrestleMania 20, and whether or not you'd be interested in reading a rebooking of the rest of 2004.